Let me hear you call my name.
MelissaLaughlin.
Taken by KeiseanT so no holllas please.
Outgoing.Alcohol.Parties.Love.
More than words.
www.formspring.me/melisssaelll
www.meliissalaughliin.tumblr.com
You know you love me, too.
Layout is by Cia: (Blog | Acc)Icons/banners are from: Stopthetime / Reviviscent respectively. Links inspiration are from: Alissa. xoxo |
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
I am not perfect. I am not the perfect girl. I am not the perfect face or body. I am plainly me. That's not good enough, ever. Never ever good enough. Nor will I never be good enough for him, again. I can't take this shit. It's not in my power to be like yo stfu, stop flirting. It's just not. But I swear, I feel like burying myself in a hole everytime you come around. Looking at your face every single day absolutely kills me. Knowing you don't give a fuck, that I sit there so upset every single day. Atm, I may be clingy, I may have an issue with letting go, and I may make every one else around feel down. It doesn't help when people are telling me everything's going to be okay. Actually .. it's not. If everything was going to be "okay" I wouldn't have felt like this for so long. Or saying I bet you he still has feelings for you, if he did he would show it by now. I get my fucking hopes up every single day, hoping he's gunna open up again. It's not the same as before, it will never BE like that. I'll never have my bestfriend back, we'll never talk the way we used to. We'll never be us, ever again. I really love how your friends say, i'm just a bug on the windshield of your life. God damnit, that makes me feel the best. (L) Or every day I hear he's never coming back, you don't think I already know that. You make me feel so useless and like a piece of waste. I hope one day when your sitting at home, all sad about some girl just dropping you like that..you remember, you dropped me too. You made me hurt bad, just like you would be hurting then. What happened to, "we're just taking some time off" that's your excuse, for never. God fucking damnit. I've kept this in for so long, from you? It pisses me off, how okay you are with everything. How you were able to just move on like that, and date others. I can't even have a simple feeling for anyone anymore, anyone else that tries to come closer, I push away. I'm scared to love anyone else, if it's not you now. Do you know how the fuck that makes me feel? I'm wrapped around your finger.. and I can't untie. I'm sorry i'm such a nuisance to you, if that's the case. If your tired of me not being able to let go, but I can't. My first reaallllll love, it's not that easy to let go. Even with how long it's been. Don't get me wrong..i'm not stopping you from anything, not controlling you. But while your out there having the best time, think about me once in a while, how you promised you'd always be here for me. I didn't forget that. |
Goodbye.
|